Teardrops on my Daddy's Piano
by AkissCANconsume
Summary: I love, Jake. I know I do. I have too. We're soulmates. Then why did I say we can only be friends? Why did I ask my parents about Jake's past before he saw me and imprinted? Everything is changing. And, at the end of it all, all I can say is- Why Me?
1. Aggravation

**Story title- **

**Teardrops on my Daddy's Piano**

**Couple- Renesmee (Nessie) Carlie Cullen and Jacob Black**

**(8/17/09) A/N- I was rereading New moon when I came up with this idea . . .**

**PS. The New Moon Movie is going to be so great! I can't wait for November! **

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**I do not own the Twilight Saga. I do own the characters that I made up . . . don't worry you'll love them!**

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Summary- "Jake, I think it's better off if we're just friends."-"No, not again, please Ness, I'm sorry…"-"What do you mean not again, Jacob?"-"Nothing Ness, it's noting."-A Renesmee Cullen and Jacob Black story

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**Chapter 1 Title- Aggravation **

I stood on the tip of my toes trying to reach my boyfriend's lips. My hands landed on his shoulders to give myself a needed boast. He noticed my struggle – a chuckle escaped his mouth.

He then bent down so, I could give him a quick peck on the lips before falling back fully on my two feet.

However, he wouldn't let me. He pulled me closer to his body. My eyes widen, unsure of what he was doing. Then suddenly, he captured my lips once more for a very passionate kiss.

I melted into the kiss, squeezing my eyes shut and moving my arms around his neck.

I didn't know exactly how long we kissed . . . I lost myself, something that I became accustomed too. I only knew was when I parted away, let go of him and stepped back, I lost my balance.

Though, instead of the cold ground, I fell into two warm arms.

I could easily hear his laughter fill the outside surroundings. The rumble inside his chest, I could feel against me.

"What am I going to do with you, Ness?" He humorously said between laughter. He always thought it was hilarious how a half vampire like me could be so uncoordinated. If you ask me it just aggravates me even more.

I annoyingly shook my head at him before using my own hands to unwrap his arms around me.

His laughter, ceased, stunned by what I was doing.

"Bye," I emotionlessly said before walking to the front door and walking in, leaving a puzzled Jake behind me.

I accidently slammed the door shut. I whispered a "Sorry," knowing Esme and Alice don't like people slamming doors.

To my surprise, my mother and father were sitting on the sofa together in the family-room. My momma was in my daddy's lap, he was twirling a strand of her mahogany hair with his pointer finger.

They both glanced up at me, worry plastered on their faces.

I put my book-bag on the grown then, I smiled a little, "It's nothing you need to worry about," they nodded, understanding.

Nevertheless, my father narrowed his eyes; he knew it was about Jake.

I felt . . . angry at myself for walking away from Jake. It's not as if he did anything _wrong_. It's just sometimes, not all the time, he aggravates me for small things, foolish things.

I know I lost my balance over _nothing_. However, Jake is the only one who laughs at me for my lack of coordination.

"Do you want to talk about it, Renesmee?" My father nicely suggested, and I nodded. He was probably reading my thoughts that were swarming around in my head.

My mother slid herself off of her husband, sitting next to him. I walked over, sitting myself next to my mother.

I picked up a cream, velvet pillow and squeezed it against me.

"Did you hear us, or more towards daddy did you _see_ us as in Jake and I?"

My mother sheepishly smiled and my father nodded.

"Alright," I whispered to myself. My father got use to _seeing_ Jake and I having our moments. So, he was never angry or upset anymore.

I absentmindedly stared at the fancy clock hanging on the wall, thinking carefully of a way to phrase what I was going to say. I watched the seconds tick by . . .

"Jake," I mumbled. "Aggravation," I obliviously continued mumbling my thoughts. "Laughter," I pushed my face into the pillow.

"What was Jake laughing at?" My mother asked, interrupting me from my thoughts.

I pulled myself from the pillow, glancing up at my confused mother. "Me," I muttered, frowning.

My eyes stared at my dark teal converses on my two feet as I talked.

"Jake _still_ thinks it's hilarious at the fact that a half vampire like me has lack of coordination."

I roughly breathed out, "I don't think it's hilarious at all, it's something that I inherited from you when you were human and I am pound of it."

My momma's eyes were staring at the hardwood floor, she seemed . . . sad. "Jake is just being . . . Jake," she glanced up with a blissful smile on her lips.

She didn't seem sad anymore by the smile that stayed on her lips. My daddy put an arm around my mother's shoulder and pushed her closer to his body. She snuggled into him, the smile stayed; it even seemed wider than before.

_Jake is just being Jake . . ._

_Jake is _just_ being Jake . . ._

He's being the outgoing Jake I've known since I was a baby.

The Jake I love . . .

I felt a cold finger tuck some of my hair behind my ear. I glanced up at my father, "Thank-you," I whispered, smiling now.

He smiled too, "You should go do you homework before it gets late."

I nodded; I did have a lot of homework to do tonight. "Okay, I'll see you later."

I got up and walked towards my book-bag. I grabbed it and made my way up the stairs to my bedroom.

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**A/N- Yes, Jake and Renesmee are already a couple and dating. They have been dating for about a year, year and a half now. Renesmee is 13 years old, but she is forever 17. **

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	2. Exhaustion

**Story title- **

**Teardrops on my Daddy's Piano**

**Couple- Renesmee (Nessie) Carlie Cullen and Jacob Black**

**(8/17/09) A/N- Here is chapter 2!**

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**I do not own the Twilight Saga. I do own the characters that I made up . . . don't worry you'll love them!**

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Summary- "Jake, I think it's better off if we're just friends."-"No, not again, please Ness, I'm sorry…"-"What do you mean not again, Jacob?"-"Nothing Ness, it's noting."-A Renesmee Cullen and Jacob Black story

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**Chapter 2 Title- Exhaustion **

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It was midnight when I glanced at my alarm clock. Jake has been knocking, throwing rocks, whatever at my window for five minutes now.

Annoyed, that was an understatement. I was furious, I have school tomorrow and so does he . . .

I tried to ignore him, hoping he would go away. I knew once I got up from my bed, open my window to let him in . . .

We would have to talk, and I was half asleep and tired.

I had a _long_ hunting trip with my parents and Alice . . .

I yawned; I have been up for a few minutes . . . I can not fall back to sleep with the annoying ruckus coming from Jake.

"Nessie," He whiningly said my name for what seemed like the millionth time. "I'm sorry for whatever I did, please open up." He whispered, tapping on my window a few times.

"Nessie, please, I need to see you, I love you and I'm sorry . . ." He tapped a few more times.

My heart skipped a beat when he said he loved me. It always did when he said he loved me . . . it became usually habitual for me.

I open my eyes, giving in. I got out of my comfortable bed and walked towards my bedroom window.

I opened it, roughly. "What Jake?" I growled at him, I was tired and wanted to go back to sleep.

He grimly smiled. "Well, I wanted to say hi-

"Jake, it's twelve o'clock at night and I'm tired . . . please whatever you have to say, say it _now_." My voice was filled with annoyance.

"Okay," he frowned. "Can I at least come in?" He asked.

I debated with myself. "Fine," I stepped back, giving him room to come in.

He was now sitting on my bed staring into my eyes, sadly. "Why did you walk away, did I do something wrong, Ness?"

I shook my head at him and ran my fingers through my bronze curly hair. "No, not exactly," I replied to him, not really wanting to tell him why I did.

"Ness . . ."

His dark brown eyes burrowed into my chocolate brown eyes. I stepped back not wanting to look him into the eyes, however, one of his hands gripped onto my wrist, pulling me closer to him.

"Jake-

I tired to stop him. However, I was to late his lips were on mine. My lips didn't move with his, I stayed still.

I forced myself not to deepen the kiss with him. I was impassionate unlike, him. What seemed like hours, he stopped kissing me . . . he parted from me with sad eyes and a frown. His sadness made me sad but, I shielded my emotions from him. My face was expressionless.

His empty hand that wasn't holding onto my wrist, tucked my hair behind my ear.

"I-

I swallowed hard, trying to find my voice.

"I think you should go," I unfeelingly spoke to him.

"Ness, what am I doing that is making you act this way?" Sadness was the emotion that was in every word he spoke. I don't need Jasper's ability to know . . . he was sad.

I glanced down to my wrist that had a firmed hand holding it. "I-

I honestly don't know why I'm acting this way, exhaustion, maybe?

"I'm sorry, Jake . . ." I let my emotions come through to my words, they were sincere.

The smile that I love showed on his lips. The knee-weakening smile, that always made me smile. His lips then ended up on my forehead, he kissed it lovingly for a few seconds. I closed my eyes, taking in his presence.

"It's late and you're probably tired, Nessie . . ." He whispered against my forehead.

I nodded, I was very tired. "And, your dad is gonna kill me if I stay any longer so, Good-night, Ness."

Jake pulled away from me, getting up from the bed. He embraced me in a one arm hug before quickly jumping out of my window.

"Good-night," I whispered, though he couldn't hear me.

Then oddly, and I didn't understand why . . . a tear, ran down my cheek.

My pointer finger traced the water staining my cheek. I ran my fingers through my hair; I shook my head, confused before going back to bed.

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**A/N- Review, Thanks :)**


	3. Urgency

**Teardrops on my Daddy's Piano:**

**Chapter title- Urgency **

**(8/18/09) A/N- chapter 3! Thanks for the Reviews!**

**I do not own the Twilight Saga**

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I sat on my bed, watching Alice. I had a towel wrapped around my body; my hair was wet and trailing droplets of water down my pale skin.

"This is cute . . ." Alice mumbled to herself, picking up a pink blouse. It was . . . cute?

Why do I even have . . . _that_?

I shook my head, overdramatically. "Fine, then . . ." Alice pouted, before searching through my clothes again.

Alice pulled a red, strapless dress off the hanger, showing it to me. It's beautiful but, not for school. I would need to wear a sweater with it, and with it being winter . . .

"It's beautiful-

She interrupted me. "I know . . ." Alice signed. "We need to go shopping . . ."

I winced at that. I do enjoy shopping. It's just sometimes, Alice goes overboard.

A few minutes went by; Alice found an outfit for me. Though, the white converses weren't her idea, she wanted me to wear flats with a small heel.

I was wearing a baby blue spaghetti strap shirt, a white sweater and light blue skinny jeans.

I was at my vanity now, opening my jewelry box and putting on diamond earrings.

Alice was downstairs now, where the rest of my family was. Alice and Jasper are in the same grade as me, Jake is too. Though, Jake looks more like a twenty-five year old who failed twelfth grade, _a lot_.

My mother, father, Rosalie and Emmet are in college. My father didn't like the idea of not being in the same school as me. However, he got over that fact.

I smiled at my appearance in my mirror. Alice wanted to put makeup on me, and style my hair. But, I refused. I didn't need it. My hair was dry and in perfect natural curls, which flowed down my back. I already looked as if I had blush on my cheeks, they were rosy red.

I signed before grabbing my book-bag and walking out my bedroom door to the kitchen.

"Hello, Renesmee." Esme happily greeted me, as I entered the kitchen.

The smells of chocolate pancakes filled the air. My favorite . . .

Jake was here. He was smiling and staring at me. He was sitting on a bench, a plate of pancakes on the counter top, a fork in his hand.

"Good morning," Jake whispered, his eyes following me as I walked towards him.

"Good morning, Jake," I gave him a quick peck on the cheek, before sitting in my seat next to him.

Esme already had another plate of pancakes at my seat; I grabbed my fork and began eating.

"Hello to you too, Esme," Remembering, I never said "Hello," back. Esme turned around, acknowledging me before going back to cleaning. I glanced around the kitchen. "Where's . . ." I trailed off. I was wondering where my parents were.

"Never mind," I mumbled. My parents were probably in the family room. Esme nodded, smiling. "Alright, dear, I'll be in the family room if you need me," then she was gone.

I pocked my fork into the pancakes, multiple times. "So . . . Ness do you want to go out after school is over . . ." Jake nervously said, while taking a bite of his pancake. He was nervous? Why would he been nervous . . . he's asking me out on a date . . . that still doesn't give him a reason to be . . .

A giggle escaped my mouth. He raised an eyebrow, amused by my giddiness.

I covered my mouth with my hand that wasn't holding onto my fork. A blush started to form on my cheeks, embarrass by my out burst.

"Jake, are you asking me out on a date, perhaps?" I made my voice emotionless, to drive him nuts. Now, he has the right to be nervous. Though, I wasn't exactly sure if he understood what I was saying since I was saying it into my hand.

He nodded, slowly. So, he did understand me. His expression was afraid; he thought I was going to say no.

I blissfully nodded, taking my hand off of my mouth. I was about to say something but, his lips captured mine for a kiss.

His hands cupped my face; I dropped my fork onto the counter, stunned by the sudden kiss.

He was always so forceful when he kisses me, _urgent _as if I was going disappear in a blink of an eye. I never understood why he was . . . was it because of the imprinting? It shouldn't be. Maybe, he just really, really loves me . . . ?

His lips overpowered mine, I gasped for air. I pulled his hands off of me, his face expressed, concern.

His hand went to touch my cheek again but, I stopped him from doing so.

I closed me eyes, thinking of an apology . . . ? Or better yet something to say to him.

"Nessie-

I interrupted him, finally thinking of something. "I'm going to go see where Alice is . . ." I opened my eyes to see his face only inches away from me. My eyes widen, instantly backing away from him.

His dark brown almost black eyes had so many emotions swirling inside of them that I had to turn my head to the direction of the hallway. His jet black hair was wet, now that I took a good look at him. It must be raining.

I signed, roughly exhaling out. I ran my fingers through my side bangs . . .

Then I got up and walked away; leaving my plate of food behind me and a sad Jake.

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**A/N- Go check out chapter 4! Review please! Thanks. **

**-AngieEllaCullen-**


	4. Jealousy

**Story Title- Teardrops on my Daddy's Piano**

**(8/18/09) Chapter title- Jealousy **

**A/N- Chapter 4! Review Please!**

**I do not own the Twilight Saga**

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I stepped out of Alice's yellow Porsche, how she loves that car. It still looks brand new even though she got it a long time ago.

I shut the car door behind me; Alice was now walking, happily next to me. Jasper had one arm around Alice's shoulder as he walked towards the school's front doors.

Suddenly, Jake was next to me, holding my hand, tightly. I didn't mind, even though I was a little aggravated towards him. I don't particularly like when Jake gives me 'surprise' kisses.

I absentmindedly glanced at, Cole my first boyfriend before Jake. I could hear Jake growl . . . why was Jake growling? Cole was widely smiling at me. I waved at him, another growl from Jake. I smiled back at Cole; he _was_ my friend, now. Jake growled, again. What was Jake, jealous, angry? Why was he acting so ridiculous?

I ignored Jake. Though, it was difficult too but, I did.

As we neared the school's front doors, I could see my two best friends, Skyler and her twin sister Grace. I guess I should say that they are what Jake is, shape-shifters-werewolves . . . you name it.

Em-a boy had one arm around Grace, a big smile on his lips.

I first met Skyler and Grace when I came to Oregon, three years ago. They live right next to us in the woods. Skyler and Grace used to live in Tennessee, however, their father passed away so, they moved to Oregon to be closer to family. Both their mother and father are from the Quileute Tribe.

Skyler, Grace both have long jet black wavy hair and russet skin. Skyler has light blue eyes however, Grace has dark green eyes. They are both very beautiful.

They also . . . imprinted . . .

Who? That's for me to know and you to find out. I have been hanging out with Skyler and Se- for far too long . . .

I shook my head, unbelievable . . .

"Skyler and Grace would you like to go shopping with Ness and I later this week?" Alice asked, once we reached them.

Alice had a whole conversation about going shopping on Friday in the car ride to school . . . Alice _can _talk . . .

They both looked towards our direction, smiling. "Sure," they both happily said at the same time.

Skyler was always smiling; she reminded me a lot like Alice. She _loves _shopping . . .

However, nobody could pull off Alice's perfectly short spiky black hair, _nobody_.

Grace was more towards the tomboyish side. Though, having a sister like Skyler she could never wear tee-shits and sweats. I've also noticed how her name is grace, but she is the opposite of Graceful.

I was at my locker now; Skyler was leaning against her locker next to mine. We had the same first period, English with Mrs. Alfred.

The students in the hallways were going to class, only a small amount of people were still in the halls.

I glanced at Skyler, I noticed her eyes were downcast and not the usual sparkle. "What's wrong, Skye?" I asked, worried.

She signed, deeply; she tugged on her shoulder strap of her book-bag before answering.

"I miss, Seth." She sadly whispered. "It's only been three days but . . ." Her hand clasped onto her mouth, I could hear a dry sob escape her. "My heart is dying each day he's not with me . . ."

She glanced towards my direction, her light blue eyes painfully watery and sorrow. "Seeing you with Jacob and my sister with Embry, is _killing_ me . . ." Her back was slowly falling more down to the title floor. "I know he said he's only going to be gone for a week to visit his mother but . . ." then I heard her laugh?

"Maybe it's because of the whole imprinting on another shape-shifter ordeal . . ." Her head was titled, looking at the ceiling now.

I stepped closer to her. "Seth will be back before you know it," I stuck out my hand for her to grab. She grabbed it, standing up now.

"Let's go to class," She spoke, however her voice wasn't filled with happiness like it should be . . . it was still sad.

I felt bad for her . . . She was _always_ with Seth and now that she isn't . . .

Skyler and Seth were _always_ holding hands, hugging, smiling . . . I've never once saw them kiss, but I know that they love each other. They were never into public display of affection . . .

Honestly, I thought they were so cute together, perfect even; they never once fought . . . _never_.

I think . . . I might be _jealous_ of Seth and Skyler's relationship.

I laughed at that.

As we walked into English, the bell rang.

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**A/N- Review. Thanks!**

**-AngieEllaCullen-**


	5. Hatefulness

**Story Title- Teardrops on my Daddy's Piano**

**(8/18/09) Chapter Title- Hatefulness**

**A/N- Chapter 5! Thanks for the Reviews!**

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I sat in one of the many seats of the Auditorium. Jake, who had last period with me, sat next to me, holding my hand on the armrest.

Skyler and Grace were on stage. Mrs. Lily was playing piano as Skyler sang the first line of lyrics in the song _It must have been Love_.

If you closely looked at Skyler you could see her eyes and in her eyes were tears. Grace was right next to her, singing the next line into the microphone. They both sang the song so beautifully.

They sang a few more lines; then Mrs. Lily told them to take a break and continue it tomorrow.

Skyler quickly wiped the tears from her eyes with back of her hands, "Well, that song was horribly _deep_." She sat next to Jake, he encouragingly smiled at her.

"You're gonna be okay, right sis?" Grace asked, sincerely, staring at her sister.

Skyler, signed. "Yea- she smiled. "I am," She glanced at Grace before looking back at the teacher.

"Can Renesmee and . . ." She glanced at her clipboard. "Cole, come up to the stage."

Jake nearly suffocated my hand. However, he let go.

I walked up the stairs to the stage, Cole was behind me.

_Cole_ . . . he is basically the most popular guy in school, football captain, and debate captain. We used to date; however, I was falling hopelessly in love with Jake when we were dating. Sadly, I broke up with him when my _best friend_ now, boyfriend Jake told me how he felt. Cole and I dated for about two months . . . he said it was longest relationship he ever had. I miss him he was so nice and gentle; we don't talk very much, anymore.

He has blond hair that is in a skater boy haircut and big hazel eyes that are always sparkling.

"Okay, I want you two, to start at the beginning of what we were working on yesterday."

We both, nodded. Then we walked to out positions on the stage.

An instrumental of _White houses_ came on. A blush came to my face, when Cole grabbed both of my hands, gently. My eyes gradually made there way to his face, he smiled a little before twirling me a few times.

We both took a big step back, our arms spread apart, though our hands were still intertwined.

Then we took a step closer to each other. I smiled; my heart was pounding against my chest.

Then we let go. I twirled freely by myself before stopping, and running to him. I leaped into him, his arms holding up my weight before softly putting me back on the grown.

He intertwined his hand with mine. Then I backed up against his chest, my nose oddly breathing in his lilac sent. We walked in perfect steps, before twirling me two times.

He slowly pulled me against his chest. My arms instantly wrapped around his neck. My breathing was rigid and rough, so was his. I could hear Grace Yell, "You go, girl!" and a growling Jake.

Mrs. Lily was squealing in the background. Then my face must have flushed a million types of red because my face was burning up. I glanced up at his hazel eyes; they were sparkling with so many emotions.

I laughed, carelessly. He joined me, shortly after.

We walked forward and backward a few times before I heard Mrs. Lily say, "The Kiss."

I froze in place, I had to kiss him and kiss him _soon_. I completely forgot about that. I picked up my moments again before anyone noticed my stop.

Cole embarrassingly smiled; the music was coming to an end.

I exhaled out, I've kissed him before. Though, this time we're not boyfriend and girlfriend. We're friend and friend.

I swallowed, painfully hard. He was leaning, his eyes were close. I closed my eyes . . . ignoring, blocking out the growls from Jake and the shushing from my classmates.

Then our lips touched, I felt small a spark. Shocked, I wanted to pull away. However, I didn't. I wasn't supposed to fell this way . . . anymore.

"Yes, that was utterly beautiful! Good Job, Cole and Renesmee!" Mrs. Lily said when we pulled away. We kissed for what seemed, endlessly but, it was only . . . a few seconds.

"I'll see you later, Ness." Cole whispered, probably afraid Jake will beat him up, _boys_.

Jake was glaring at Cole as he _quickly_, too quickly sat down next to his friend, Chris. I sat next to Jake, ignoring the narrowing eyes Jake gave me. Did I ever mention, Jake, _hates_ Cole?

I erased the smile on my lips, putting a frown on. Jake was suddenly, leaning down to kiss me.

I turned my head away. He stopped, frowning, slightly. "I'll kiss you once you stop growling at every boy who stares at me." I signed; Jake eyes went wide, surprised.

"I'm sorry but, I had the right too, _he_ and you were-

I interrupted him. "Jake, do you know how intimidating you are? You really don't need to growl- I smiled, jokingly. "You just have to glare at them so; they'll just run away from me!" I crossed my arms under my chest, signing.

"I'm-

I interrupted him, again, knowing what he was going to say. "Don't, Jake, just don't."

He was silent the rest of the class.

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**A/N-Review Please! Thank-you! Chapter 6 well be out . . . soon :)**


	6. Amorousness

**(8/19/09) Chapter Title- Amorousness**

**A/N- Please Review! Thanks!**

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School was over. Skyler went home with Grace and Embry. I was walking through the crowds of students, Jake was next to me, though, I wouldn't let him hold my hand and I didn't know why.

I kept my hands inside my pockets as I made my way to Alice's yellow Porsche. Alice and Jasper were both leaning against the hood of the car. Alice lips tuned into a very wide smile, she then skipped towards me, happily.

"Nessie- She embraced in a hug which I returned to her. "How was school today?" She asked.

"Okay," I answered, my eyes never looking at her direction.

"Ness, instead of going out today let's just hang out at my place-

Jake was speaking. I interrupted him, "Sure," I answered, emotionlessly.

Jake stared at me, quizzically. I felt terrible for yelling at him . . . I'm a terrible person. However, I couldn't bring myself to apologize to him . . .

I was sitting in Alice's car, now. Jasper was driving; Jake was well, being Jake. His dark brown eyes never left me, I was becoming self conscious. I wanted to tell him to stop staring but, I couldn't find the words too.

I was walking into where Jake lives at, which is the pool house. I sat down on the Sofa, wrapping my arms around my legs.

Jake sat down next to me, his arm went around my shoulder; he then pulled very close to his body. The heat coming from his body was very relaxing.

"I love you, you know that?" He whispered, to me. My heart skipped a beat. I softly put my hand against his cheek; _I love you, too, Jake . . ._

He smiled, blissfully. I stared, sadly into his eyes. "Jake," his name slipped from my tongue.

He glanced towards my direction. "Yea, Ness?" He whispered back, lovingly.

I exhaled out, "Kiss me?" One of my eyebrows rose, asking if he would.

He slowly leaned down to my level, our foreheads touching; our eyes, closed. His lips kissed mine for a brief second before pulling away. He smiled, my heart beat rapidly thumped against my chest. Then he kissed me again.

It started slowly then deepens. The passion was overpowering, I gasped for air. He kissed me again, not wanting to stop.

Then everything crumbled, I froze. My eyes cautiously opened, I'm _not_ ready. I'm not _ready_. I am not ready to go that _far_. _No . . ._

His hands were trailing up my shirt, they were feverishly warm and burning my skin.

He_- he- was lifting my- my- _

I grabbed onto them and roughly pulled them away. "Stop!" I furiously yelled. Why am so angry?

"What, Ness, what's wrong?" He asked, worried by my sudden stop.

"You-

I swallowed, hard, trying to find my voice. My throat felt dry like I was thirsty.

"You-you were going to- I shook my head, clearing it. "I should go," I absentmindedly said. I glanced up at his, troubled eyes, his lips frowning, deeply.

"Ness, why?" I shook my head at him. "I should go," I repeated myself.

"Ness!" Jake yelled, wanting me back. I was already outside and walking towards my house. A tear escaped my eyes, a sob broke through me.

Then everything was a blur.


	7. Relationship

**Chapter title- Relationship**

**I don't own the Twilight Saga**

**A/N- My internet was being dumb so, I had to wait to put this up. I hope you like it! Renesmee is going be doing a lot of thinking in this chapter! And, there's going to be a lot going on too! So, I hope you like it and please Review! Thanks. Also it's the longest chapter yet, I did this because I'm going to a Birthday Party on Saturday and it's a sleepover so, I won't be able to write until Monday!**

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I was in my bedroom, sitting at my desk, a pencil in my right hand, scribbling nonsense into my journal.

_Aggravation, Exhaustion, Urgency, Jealousy, Hatefulness . . . _

I wrote the words neatly onto the line paper. I signed, deeply for the hundredth time tonight. What am I going to do?

"Renesmee?" A voice behind me made me jump in surprise. I shook my head, clearing it from my ridiculous thoughts.

"Yes?" I emotionlessly replied, never turning around, I knew it was my mother.

"Are you, okay? You seemed out of it when you came home." She whispered, concerned.

"I'm fine, mom." I_ tried_ to put emotion, but, my voice still sounded blank.

I got quickly up from my chair, to put my journal back under my pillow.

Nevertheless, my clumsy feet tripped over, _nothing_. My hands were out in front of me, ready to catch my fall. However, I didn't fall face first onto the ground, I fell into the awaiting arms of my mother.

I made eye contact with her; she shyly smiled, hating the fact that I was cursed with her clumsiness when she was human.

Though, I never understood how I am so uncoordinated but, I can dance like a pro? It never made sense to me. However, I wasn't that clumsy as my mother, that is what she told me.

I backed away from her, slowly and cautiously, making sure I don't trip again.

I quickly shoved my journal back under my pillow; I glanced at my frowning mother. She was staring off into the distance, she must be thinking about something.

"Jacob!" I jumped in surprise as I heard my father, yell. A vicious _loud_ growl came after he said the name, Jacob.

My mother snapped, out of her trance like state she was in; her golden eyes widen.

"Edward . . . Edward it's not what you think." I could almost see Jacob backing away from daddy, his big arms shielding him.

"Renesmee, why is Edward mad? What did Jacob do?" Her words were fast, hard to catch however, I did. I just shook my head at her, not wanting to talk about it, not knowing if my father read Jacob's mind and saw us having a very _deep_ moment.

I winced, we were all over each other or more like Jacob was all over me as I sat there frozen, not knowing what to do.

"Renesmee," She warned me, "Tell me, what he did." Her voice was _different_. I have never heard my mother's voice so cold, so emotionless.

"Renesmee, look at me." I then noticed I wasn't looking at my mother. I was eying my bedroom floor. I gradually made eye contact.

Her liquid golden eyes were wide and frighten. Her pale white arms were tightly holding onto her chest. I took another step back, biting my lip. I heard my mother repeatedly softly whisper "Edward."

"_Jacob_," my father loudly hissed his name. My heart beat pounded against my chest, not liking where this is going.

"I could kill you with my bare hands!" Anther yell, was heard through out the house. "But, I won't. My daughter and mywife wouldn't like that very much." He viciously hissed.

My eyes, they were watery. I blinked a few times, to make the tears not come. It was a very bad time to cry. I wanted to run to where my daddy and Jacob were talking.

However, my legs wouldn't move from where they weakly stood. I squeezed my eyes closed; hoping daddy and Jake would be, okay.

"Edward, calm down." Jacob's voice was lightly heard. "It's not that bad."

I heard another growl come from daddy. Why did this have to happen when everyone was out of the house? Why?

I slowly opened my eyes to an empty room. My mother . . . she was gone.

"Bella," My father whispered his voice calmer. I shook my head, clearing it.

Then, I ran to where they were. I was becoming angry at myself for not coming sooner.

As, I entered, I froze in mid step. Jacob was against the wall, his eyes glanced at me but, he did not smile, he frowned. His eyes were utterly black, as if he was going to phase.

My frown, deepen. I haven't seen him since well, since the . . . never mind.

I glanced at my father, my mother arms were tightly around his waist, pulling him back.

His eyes were black, dark, cold, and scary even. I stepped back, I wasn't afraid. I wasn't anything.

I glanced more around, nothing was broken that's a good sign. Esme and Alice wouldn't like that very much.

My father turned his head towards me, though; his eyes were still intensively glaring at Jacob.

They were all staring at me, now. I blushed, hating all this attention aimed at me.

I swallowed, hard. My curly bronze hair falling into my face, I was thankful. My hair was hiding my helpless tears.

I choked down a sob, as I glanced at Jacob. He took a step closer towards me, his arms out; wanting me to run into his arms and . . . cry. He knew I was crying?

He always did this when I cried which wasn't very often. However, I painfully ignored him. I stared at my parents, whispering an apology before inhumanly running into bedroom.

I closed my bedroom door, and then ran to my bed. I cried and ear piercingly screamed into my pillow.

I tried stopping my sobs, eventually making me cough, sickly.

Then I stopped what I was doing all together. Another sob broke loose; tears ran down my pale white now red face. I sat up, wiping the tears with my fingers.

Why am I crying? Is it because Jacob almost got hurt? Is it because he got yelled at by my father? Is it because Jacob went a little too far? Why? Why am I? Is it because of the way my parents looked at me, they almost looked thankful, thankful, of what? Thankful I didn't go farther with Jacob?

"I'm so confused," I whispered to myself.

I closed my eyes, thinking. The question is . . . why didn't I want to go farther with Jacob?

"I wasn't ready," I mumbled out loud, biting my lip.

Or, is it because . . .

"Is it because . . ." I mumbled out loud, again.

I pictured Jacob smiling, in my mind.

The smile was a memory of when we went cliff diving, we just began being a couple. I smiled at that, we were so careful with each other. He was always scared of kissing me, asking for permission every time. He was always so nervous around me, it was unbelievably cute. He honestly, was a pure gentleman . . .

We were at La-Push, Washington. Skyler and Grace were with us, Jacob wanted to tell Sam that two new people were joining his pack. We were also visiting because Leah wanted to see them. She was shockingly happy. I guess because she wasn't the only girl anymore.

Though, her happiness changed, when the imprinting came. She was angry at poor Seth for _months_. She got over it, eventually. Leah couldn't be mad at her little brother for too long. It wasn't his fault.

Surprisingly, I laughed at loud. I miss Leah. She didn't exactly like me. But, we talked . . . I also miss, Seth-

I heard a loud vibrating noise, erupt through my bedroom; waking me up from my memories.

I glanced at my night stand where my cell phone, vibrated. The screen flashing that Jacob was calling me. The call ended, the screen went black. I signed, should I call him back? I don't feel like talking, not right now at least.

The vibrating came again this time informing me I have a text message from "Boyfriend."

I swallowed, slowly. My throat felt dry, probably from the sickly coughing I did.

I debated with myself before picking up my cell phone and reading the text message.

_Nessie? Can we talk, please?_

I bit lip; I really don't feel like talking even if it is Jacob.

I exited out of the text message, not even bothering to text back. I felt horrible, now, great, just what I need.

Unexpectedly, another text message came. I prayed inside my head that it wasn't Jacob.

I read the screen, it was from Skyler. I smiled; I really need a girl to talk too, that's not my mother.

_Hey, can I come over? My sis is with Embry & I'm bored. _

I happily and too quickly replied with three yeses.

She texted me back saying, _okay . . . be over in a few._

I laughed; I guess she noticed I was extremely excited and happy to see her.

I drew random pictures onto my journal, trying to ignore the aching feeling in my heart and my conscious telling me to go talk to Jacob.

"Hey, Edward," I heard Skyler's voice from downstairs. "Okay . . . someone's not happy."

I laughed, picturing my daddy's face. It must look terrifying.

"Is there's something you need, Skyler?" His voice wasn't rude or angry it was cold, emotionless like my mother's was not to long ago.

Silence filled the air, I waited for someone to talk; however, nothing came.

I continued drawing. A low yelp left my mouth as I heard a knock at my door.

I got up, tripping over my math book on the floor. I groaned as I caught my balance again. Then, I walked towards the door; unlocking it and letting her in.

"What's wrong with your dad, he was staring at me- she curiously asked me as she entered my room, I locked my door behind her. "I can't even describe it." She sat on my bed, I did too. "Jake, was down there too, he didn't look so great . . . did something happen between them?"

She was staring at me now. I swallowed hard, my throat still dry.

"Jacob-

She interrupted me, her eyes filled with so many emotions. "Are you _really_ mad at Jake because you only say _Jacob_ when you're _really_ mad at him or anyone . . . ?"

I blinked a few times; I've been saying Jacob all this time, haven't I? I haven't noticed?

"I- I couldn't find my voice, my throat felt numb, sore.

"What happen, Ness?" She stared at me, or light blue eyes, the color of the sky became dark with worry as if there was a storm coming.

She signed, deeply. "If you don't want to talk, then can you show me?" She asked.

I nodded, liking the idea of not talking. I placed my hand onto her warm cheek. I took a deep breath, hoping I wouldn't cry.

I played the memory of Jacob and me . . . my eyes were becoming watery as I remembered, still puzzled at why I didn't want to go farther. I love Jacob . . .

My eyes stared, blankly at the floor as I played the other part. An "Oh," was all she said as I took my hand away.

However, she continued.

"That's a lot to take in," she frowned, I missed her smile already. "No wonder your dad was so angry and glaring at Jake the whole time I was down there . . . that's why I just left . . ." She mumbled probably to herself, but, I heard it, clearly.

"I wouldn't like seeing my child . . ." She mumbled again, my eyes widen; the tears spilling all over again.

Skyler put an arm around me and let me cry into her feverish warm shoulder. "Ness, you didn't do anything wrong . . . honestly, I think you did the right thing . . . stopping before Jake or you went all the way. . ." She whispered, her chin leaning against my head as she spoke. I nodded, I didn't do anything wrong . . . sobs erupted through me, uncontrollably.

. . . Except hurt Jacob, I hurt Jacob.

The question I asked myself came swarming inside my head again. _The question is why didn't I want to go farther with Jacob?_

A blush came to my cheeks as I remembered this is Skyler's favorite blouse and I'm ruining it by helplessly crying over . . .

"I apologize," I choked down a sob, "I'm ruining your blouse," I glared at my converses as I spoke, unhappy with myself. Again, why am I crying?

"My shirt is the least of my worries," she snorted. "And, we're going shopping with Alice," she glanced at my bedroom door. "Speaking of Alice, here she comes." She smiled a little, I smiled too; happy that she was smiling.

"Oh," she laughed a little. "Rosalie and Bella are coming too," She glanced at me, making eye contact with my watery eyes. "Is it okay if I let them in?" She asked, politely.

I didn't know they were home or well, Alice and Rosalie. Then again I haven't been listening to the commotion downstairs, to know.

"I don't mind, I would very much enjoy company." I halfheartedly said, and I did want company. I wanted to get my mind off of Jacob. She smiled before going to the door and opening it.

There stood Alice about to knock but, pulled her hand away, smiling innocently.

"Nessie," Alice whined. Why is she whining?

"Your hair looks like a bird made a nest in it!" she pouted, angry that I messed up my precious hair. I blush a little though, having no idea my hair was like that.

She walked over to my vanity, pulling out a hair brush

I turned my attention to Skyler, she smiled happily. I glared at her, her smile vanished. "Oh," She gasped. "I didn't think you cared," she shrugged. Though, she did have a point . . .

I laughed out loud, "You have a point there, I don-

Alice interrupted me, glaring angrily at me. "Don't say that," She pointed the brush towards the ceiling, to clarify. Then she pointed at me, glaring. "You should have pride in your hair, young lady!" She stepped closer to me, with my hair brush.

I smiled, jokingly. "Alice, put the weapon down." I warned, humorously.

She smiled, showing all her razor sharp teeth to me. "Alice, you don't scare me." I laughed, I kept laughing. My sides were in pain from laughing so hard. I couldn't stop. Why can't I stop?

"It wasn't that hilarious," She whispered, now magically sitting on my bed, brushing my tangles out of my hair. "I was trying to be scary . . ."

My laughing stopped, suddenly. I was very blissful that it ended.

I snorted. Then my mother and Rosalie came walking in. My mother was frowning. Rosalie had a smirk on her face, I didn't understand why but, I didn't question her. Though, I did hear her say, "Stupid Mongrel," under her breath.

I raised an eyebrow; usually I would be angry at this. However, oddly I wasn't. I actually laughed at it.

She closed the door behind her, locking it also. "Just in case the Mutt comes," She smiled, I smiled back.

"You might want to check if my window is lock too, he sometimes comes in here when it's unlocked," I seriously said. I was being serious, he truly does, and sometimes he does when I am sleep. It isn't so nice when you wake up with a Jacob right in your face.

Her eyes widen for a second before going back to normal. "He does?" she . . . growled?

I nodded, not caring if they found out. She then walked over to the window, checking if it is. She gave me a thumps up, saying that it was.

My mother sat on the other side of me. She embraced me in a one arm hug. She slowly let go, studying my face. "I thought I heard you crying," She worriedly whispered. She breathed deeply out. "Edward is keeping a really good eye on him, Edward won't even let Jake move . . . if that makes you feel better?" my mother smiled, not sure if I would be upset or angry.

I nodded, acknowledging her. I didn't want to talk or think about it.

A few seconds later Skyler sat back down, lightly laughing; I did hear her mumble, "Bloodsucker," Before cracking up laughing. I eyed her; curious to why it was so hilarious.

"What?" She asked, blushing against her russet skin. I noticed everyone was staring at her. It wasn't just me. She embarrassedly twirled a strand of her long wavy black hair with her pointer finger.

"What are you laughing at?" Rosalie asked, annoyed, her arms crossed under her chest as she stood in the corner of my bedroom.

Skye shrugged. "I just think it's hilarious . . . the name bloodsucker? Who came up with that?" She smiled before glancing at me. I shrugged, my mother smiled at her. She is _so_ much like Seth.

Then an awkward silence filled the air. I fidgeted on my bed, my mind absentmindedly thinking about Jacob again, the way he frowned at me . . .

Then tears welled up in my eyes. My heart thumped painfully against my chest. My arms wrapped painfully tight around my chest.

Alice stopped braiding my hair. "Ness?" I heard her worriedly question me.

"Ness!" Someone called my name. I couldn't hear anything; the thumping of my heart was all I could hear. "Ness, what's wrong?"

I could hear a loud vibrating noise, my cell phone. I weakly tried to reach to my side to grab it. However, I couldn't. My body felt numb.

I sharply breathed in. The _question_ swarmed inside my head, _never_ leaving me.

"I- my eyes searched the faces of my family and friends, worry, concern was expressed on each and every one of them.

Then I slammed my body against my mother's hard cold chest and cried into her plain blue tee-shirt; my mother, gasped, shocked by my sudden contact.

"I don't love him, Ma," I furiously mumbled. "I don't love him!" I yelled, furiously. "I only love him as a friend, I don't know why! But, I do!" I grabbed onto her shirt, burring myself into it, ashamed of what I just realized.

"What are you talking about, Renesmee?" She seemed relieve that I was talking. Her arms wrapped around me, bringing me closer to her.

"I've been getting so upset and angry with him! Now I know why! I don't love him! I don't!" I chocked back my sobs, wishing my body wasn't able to make tears.

"Who?" She whispered; she seemed afraid to ask.

I breathed, intensely in. "Jacob, Ma, Jacob!" I breathlessly yelled.

I heard everyone gasp, shocked by the news. I was too. However, now I know. I smiled a little into my mother's shirt, now I know.

Silence filled the air, everyone was glancing around. Then everyone stared at Skyler.

"What-

An ear piercing howl interrupted Skye. Her eyes widen. "Damn," she groaned. "Just when things were getting good," She mumbled.

"Jake!" I heard Emmett's booming voice yell, it echoed through the house. "He did not just do that!" Emmett annoyingly growled.

I tried pulling away from my mother, but she wouldn't let me. She held me extremely close.

_Was that him-? _The words kept repeating through my mind. The ear piercing howl echoed in my head, endlessly.

"What was that-?

"I gotta go!" Skyler panicky yelled, interrupting me. She ran quickly out of my room.

I then heard a loud bump outside of my room. "Sorry!" She yelled. Then I heard a crash as if a vase broke, it did sound like glass- "I'll pay for that, when I get back!" I guess I was right. "If I get back," I heard her mummer under her breath.

I heard her feet run down the steps, then slamming the door when she went outside.

"She better-

Alice got interrupted. "Sorry!" Skyler yelled another apology.

"Well, at least she apologized. I'm gonna go _see_ what she broke!" Alice ran out of my room in the blink if an eye. "Because I'm _blind_ . . ." She groaned, loudly outside of my room.

Rosalie was smirking as what I could tell. "Well, I think the dog found out." Then she walked casually out of my room. I could tell my mother was glaring at her as she exited.

I swallowed, hard, "Ma?" I whispered, trying to pull away again but, she still was closely holding onto me.

"Love," I heard my father's comforting voice. My eyes saw my father leaning one hand against the door railing, his eyes utterly black.

I was going to suggest my father to go hunt but, my mother spoke first.

"Yes, Edward?" My mother's voice softly replied.

"I let him go." My father too quickly said.

Then panic rose through me, realizing . . . it really was Jacob.

"No!" I screamed. "No! Let me go Ma!" I twisted and turned but, she wouldn't budge.

_I'm so confused. _

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**A/N- Well that took me so long to write! 10 pages! I started writing at 8:00 PM stopped writing at 4:20 AM so, I'm going to go to bed before it's 5:00 AM and my dad wakes up for work . . .**

**Review Please! Lol this chapter wasn't suppose to be like this at all! But, now that I wrote it, I like it better than my other idea. **

**Next Chapter title is called: Friendship Uohhh I wonder why? **

**Then after that chapter, the whole Teardrops on my Daddy's Piano starts to develop, there's going to be tons of stuff going on, believe me, there is. If you read the summary that gives you 2 hints but there are still a few more twists that I have got! So, barware! This is what I get for being up so late . . . now I'm talking to myself, Great. **

**Ok, Lol, Review. Thanks.**

**-AngieEllaCullen-**


	8. Friendship

**A/N- Thank you so much for all the Reviews and the other good stuff! **

**Sorry, I took so long to update, I was on a week long vacation. I went to Ocean City Maryland. Then I was just lazy and didn't feel like writing. **

**Chapter Title- Friendship **

**I do not own the Twilight Saga!**

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It's been three days. Those three long lasting days were torture.

Jake's gone. He's been gone since he heard me, in my bedroom yelling out that I don't love him anymore.

Skyler, Grace and Embry went to school today. Though, the last two days they didn't attend.

They told me how Jake is doing. They said, not so great.

I felt horrible at the way he found out. I completely forgot he was downstairs. I honestly wasn't thinking when I blurted it out.

I was happy my friends were back. It was lonely without them. It wasn't the same.

Grace was eyeing me. I kept asking her why she was. However, all she did was shake her head and half smile.

Skyler was constantly biting her lip. I was so sure her lips were bleeding by the end of the day. They weren't, I didn't smell any.

Embry was silent. That wasn't him.

I asked why they were all acting different at the end of school.

Grace said, "Different how?" Embry just shrugged. Skyler blurted out, "Jake wants to talk to you in exactly two hours!" In return she got two smacks in the head.

I walked silently through the forest. Each step was closer to Jake. Things were going to change for good or for worse. I don't know. But, they were, no doubt.

My eyes scanned the scenery. It was breathtakingly remarkable.

The sky was almost black. It was night time. I miss the sun. The sun was out today. I truthfully love the sun even though my pale white skin conventionally glows. It's not very noticeable which is good.

My hands were in my jean's pockets. Both hands were red from me tripping over everything. I can run without falling but, when I walk, I trip over every single thing.

I bit my bottom lip. My arms wrapped around my chest. It was freezing outside. I didn't wear a coat. The spaghetti strap shirt is so thin. I'll be fine. I'm use to the cold.

"Ness?" I heard Jake's recognizable voice, whisper from afar. I bit my lip harder if that was even possible. I was afraid to look at him. I didn't want to see his painful expression.

I should say something. I can't feel my legs. My throat feels dry. I can't.

My eyes stayed looking at the forest floor. The colorful leaves were crunching against my converses as I took two numb steps forward.

"It is you . . ." He seemed sad. He wanted me to come here. But, his voice seemed like he didn't want me here.

I exhaled out. There was too much tension in the air. I didn't like it. It was awkward. I should say something. I opened my mouth, and then I shut it when nothing came out.

I shivered from the winter wind blowing around me. It pushed my curly hair in front of my face, hiding it. I didn't mind. It helped.

I cautiously jumped back when warmth engulfed me. Even through the jump, it stayed with me.

My eyes saw the glimpse of russet skin. Jake. He was hugging me. He probably saw me shivering. He doesn't like it when I'm cold.

I stood there, uncomfortably. I never did return the hug. My body felt utterly numb. I didn't know if it was a good numb or a bad numb. So, I ignored it.

"Ness, we need to talk," Jake chocked out. His voice was breaking. Was he crying? I can't take his tears. It will make me cry. I don't want to cry. I finally stopped.

His face was buried in my hair. I could easily push him off. I did need space. My cheek was against his bare chest. I didn't like it. It didn't feel right.

"Ness, it is true," I could hear him breathe deeply in. I could feel it too. He did this for a silent minute. His breathing was making me tired. The soft beating of his heartbeat was like music. It reminded me of when I play the piano with my father.

"You," He hugged me tighter. I wanted to push him off however that would just make things worse between us. "Don't love me anymore," He wanted to say it like a statement but, it came out as a question.

I opened my mouth to answer with a simple yes. I honestly don't think I have the strength to say anymore then one worded answers.

However, nothing came out yet, again. I groaned in frustration.

This caused Jake to break his embrace. I lost the heat. I became cold again.

I could touch him and say "Yes," in my mind. But, I couldn't bring myself to do so.

I bit my top lip this time. I ignored the agonizing pain that my teeth were doing against my cold lips.

This time I had to look at Jake's face. I miss his smile. I miss the light in his eyes. They seem so dark and hollow. They're wet. His cheeks are stained with water. It's my fault.

I opened my mouth. It seems so dry. It's closing up, "Yes," I croaked. It closed. I singed deeply, as I read the expressions that flashed through his face.

_Sadness, anger, confusion, anger . . ._

I couldn't stand it any longer. I chocked back a sob as a tear ran down Jake's cheek.

"Why, Ness, why don't you love me? Did I do something? I'll change, I'm sorry!" He gushed at me. His words were stabbing me in the heart at how painstakingly they were.

"Don't change," I croaked. I watched Jake shift from side to side. "And, don't say your sorry," I glanced at the forest floor yet, again.

"I'm tired of you saying you're sorry to me," I whispered, sadly. But, it was true. I was tired of him saying those words to me. "We've grown apart," I whispered more to myself than to Jake.

"No, we are not-

I unhappily interrupted. "You may not be, but, I am."

"Ness, don't say that just give us a second chance. We all deserve second chances," he begged.

"I can't," I argued. I bit my bottom lip. My top one was sore. I ran my fingers through my side bangs. I felt nervous. I do this when I'm nervous.

I opened my mouth. I was ready to speak. I needed to speak. I wanted to tell him. But, nothing came out. My lips moved but, it was only air.

"Please, Ness, I can't live without you," He lovingly mumbled. It was probably to himself. I could here the slight beg in his voice. He wasn't going to give up.

Why didn't I stay in my bedroom? Why didn't I stay in my daddy's lap like I was three days ago when Jake ran away. I wish I stayed home. I wish I didn't come here to talk to Jake.

I promised myself I would tell him exactly what I told myself in the mirror one hour ago.

I opened my mouth. My throat felt dry. It hurt. Am I thirsty? No, I hunted two days ago with my mother, Rosalie, and Alice. Then why can't I speak? Why can't I say it?

"Jake, I'm not leaving you, I would never," I achingly and honestly replied. My throat stayed dry. He only nodded. His face didn't express anything. He was hiding from me. I am happy. I don't want to see him cry again.

"Jake, I think it's better off if we're just, friends," I sorrowfully whispered. I was already grieving. I finally told him. It hurt. Why does it hurt? I'm confused. No, I'm not. I feel oddly . . . free? That's it. I feel free.

His expressions were difficult to read. I knew he was trying to hide them. "No!" He shook his head.

I jumped back. I was startled. He screamed. He was upset. I don't like it.

"Not again!" He growled. His body was uncontrollably shacking. I was afraid. I took a step back. His eyes were solid black; I terribly miss his dark brown eyes. Please, go back to normal.

I took several inhumanly steps back. The last step, I tripped and fell back. I surprisingly fell on the floor. I was so used to people catching me.

My eyes glared at Jake's shacking body. I wanted him to stop. He never lost his temper. I have only once seen him loose his temper; it was when Skyler and Seth were annoying him. It was something dealing with us being a couple.

He took a step closer. I quickly moved away. My watery eyes never left his shacking body.

I am afraid.

My father said shape-shifters are dangerous when they loose their temper. I didn't believe him. I told him Jake would never to that. He loves me too much.

I was wrong. My dad was right. They are dangerous. Jake is dangerous.

I'm scared.

I want to run away, fast. I feel numb. I feel frozen to the ground. I can't, move.

"Not again," he murmured. His scary black eyes were eyeing the grown. But, his big muscular intimidating body was still shacking.

I let out a sob. I didn't know I was holding it in.

Jake inhumanly glanced at me. His eyes widen, finally noticing me.

"Ness . . ." He sadly whispered.

He took another step closer. I hurried away from him. My foot missed the grown and my whole body fell back onto the forest floor.

"Stay away from me!" I yelled. I started crying. I didn't care if he saw me. He was still shacking.

"Ness," He watchfully said my name. "You know I wouldn't hurt you!" He yelled at me. The he let a growl rumble through him.

My eyes widen. He growled at me. I shook my head, overdramatically. "No, I wouldn't know!" I yelled. "You're shacking!" I started sobbing. "You're scaring me!"

He started shacking even more. "Ness," he gritted his teeth. "_I'm not going to loose control._" He emphasized each word.

I nodded, not wanting to argue and make him angrier.

My eyes narrowed.

What made him _shake_?

_Not again_-Was what he said before he started shacking.

_Not again._ What does he mean by that?

"What do you mean by, not again, Jacob?" I carelessly growled back at him.

I slowly stood back up. I did not want to trip and end up on the grown so, he could laugh at me. He would ignore my question.

His eyes widen. He looked away from me. "Nothing, Ness, it's nothing." He replied. He never did look at me. I stared at him. I waited for a better answer but, nothing came.

I should say something. I don't know what to say.

It was getting dark out. I should go. My family would be worried about me.

"Bye," I emotionlessly said. I exhaled out. I wiped away my tears. Then I turned around and walked back towards my house.

Jacob never did look at me. He never said anything. He just stood there looking at the ground.

His heart must be broken or he's in deep thought. Hopefully, it's the second one.

I feel betrayed. He never tells me anything.

I feel different. I think it's because I'm single.

I feel confused. What does he mean by _not again_?

I think I'll ask my parents.

They might know.

Hopefully, they do.

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**A/N- Review! Sorry, again for the long wait. I hope you understand. I start school tomorrow. I'm a freshman. This Sucks. Wish me luck! Seriously do, the high school I'm going to is huge. I'm going to get lost, no, doubt that I am. Bye. **


	9. I Don't Know Anything At All

**Chapter Title- I don't know anything at all . . .**

**A/N- Here's the chapter! Sorry, I took so long! But, ugh does any of you people know how weird high school students are? I gave a dollar to some random senior and he was like, "You're the best freshman ever!" But, ugh, my classes are 95 minutes long. I have 4 classes . . . ugh! They are way too long! And, Spanish teachers are evil. They are evil old ladies! My Spanish teacher is making everyone's life Hell. Well, anyway enjoy the chapter!**

**I~~D~o~n~'~t~~K~n~o~w~~A~n~y~t~h~i~n~g~~A~t~~A~l~l . . .**

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_Dear Diary, _

_I haven't _really_ written in you in a considerable amount of time. I apologize, for my recent departure from you. I've been busy with best friends, ex boyfriends, family and Jacob. _

_Jacob . . ._

_Jacob and I are not doing so well. It's mainly my fault. It's difficult to explain my feelings towards him. I love, Jacob. I have too. We're soul-mates. Then why did I tell him we can only be friends? I don't love, Jacob that's the thing. I know I don't love him anymore. He makes me feel so frustrated. He doesn't understand me and he always says "Sorry," to me everyday. It wasn't like that when we began dating. I've written about it before. I'm confused. _

_I haven't seen Jacob, lately. Is he okay? He's my best friend. I miss him. I'm worried. _

_Seth is coming tomorrow. That's something to look forward too . . . _

I sat on the front porch. I wasn't smiling. I wasn't happy. No, I wasn't. Not, at all.

I swallowed, painfully hard. My body felt numb. It has never felt this odd before. Not, ever. I was shacking from my tearless sobs that I couldn't control.

My handwriting is a mess.

It was nigh time. I was alone. Oh, how alone was not what I wanted. It was raining. Oh, how I hated the rain right now. It matched my mood which was a bit ironic.

I had a red ink pen in my hand. My green diary was on my lap. I continued writing.

_As I write this, I am trying not to cry. _

_Today, I found out about something. I feel horrible. He must . . . hate me. _

_Then again, I hate imprinting. It's such a foolish thing. _

"_Did you know, Nessie, if it wasn't for the imprinting, Jacob would still be hopelessly in love with your mother?" my beloved Auntie Alice said. _

It was so true, that it hurts.

_Is the love that he gives me . . . fake love? Or, real love? Or, is it nothing? Or, is it the, God forsaken imprinting werewolf claim love?_

I am making no sense whatsoever!

"_Jacob also kissed your mother two times. Though, I wouldn't count the second kiss, since Bella asked Jacob to kiss her . . . the first one she punched Jacob after it so . . . I wouldn't count it as a whole kiss . . . it's more like a half kiss," Alice smirked. "Isn't that right, Bella?"_

"_Alice," My mother warned. _

"_Bella was also thinking that she might love Jacob too!"_

"_Alice!" My mother yelled. "Well, Bella," Alice smirked again. "That's what you get for not going shopping with me!" Then Alice stormed away . . ._

We went shopping today. It was in the afternoon. It was enjoyable. It took Jacob off of my mind for a few hours. Grace, Skyler, Alice, Rosalie and me went. I got a few things. It was mostly dresses. Alice is making me go to the Valentine's Dance that's in a month. I want to go and then I don't. It's confusing. Maybe, it's because Jacob went with me the last time and now that we broke up, we aren't.

"_You're a single woman, Nessie girl! What are going to do right now!"_

"_I'm going to sleep, Emmett! That's what I'm going to do!" _

I slammed my diary and pen down onto the grown. I sobbed into my hands. I did the right thing, didn't I? Then why do I feel as if I lost half of me? Why can't I breathe correctly?

I hate this. It's a terrible feeling that nobody needs to feel. It's a feeling I can not control.

I _entirely_ hate this.

"_C'mon Nessie Girl, let's get you a sexy new boyfriend!" _

"_Emmett, I just broke up with Jacob. Do you honestly think I want to go on a hunt for new boyfriends?"_

"_Yes, yes you do!" My dear Uncle Emmett's booming laughter filled the family room. _

"_Let's go! Nessie Girl! It's going to be so much fun!"_

"_Emmett, no, I'm not going."_

"_Awe, you're no fun!"_

Should I move on? No. Will I move on? Yes. However, now, at this moment I can't. It hurts too much. I don't know why. It just does. I wish it didn't. I hate it. It's annoying.

"_I think that breaking up with the Mongrel was the best thing you ever done, but, then again I hate the Mongrel so, you shouldn't ask me," My Auntie Rosalie said. _

I screamed into my hands. I kept screaming. I can't take this any longer! He's a weak mutt that always has to run away from his god damn problems. He can't hide from me. I'm tired of it. I had enough. I am going to talk to him if he likes it or not.

"Jake!" I yelled even though, I knew it was useless. His name just echoed.

"Jake, please!" I pleaded. "Stop hiding from me!" I choked back a sob. The rain began falling harder. It was silent except for the pitter pattering of the rain.

"We all know Jake that you can't stay forever away from me," I mumbled.

So many tears fell from my eyes. I was crying. I lost my strength of being strong. "Do you see what you're doing to me?" I pointed to myself. Then I harshly said, "And, I utterly _hate_ it."

I picked up my pen and my diary and wrote one last thing.

_This will be the last time I ever shed a tear for Jacob Black._

_~Renesmee Carlie Cullen~_

And, with that I wiped the tears away. I put my pen inside my diary and put it to the side.

"Jake?" I sadly whispered. "Come back," I signed. "Please?" I mumbled. "I miss you."

"I know you're hurting however, so am I, Jake," I hasty muttered. "So am I."

My eyes scanned the forest however; he was no where in sight.

I was beginning to lose hope.

* * *

**((A/N- Review. Please? Thank You. The next chapter is this weekend!))**


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